According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
