I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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