dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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