i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize