hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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