can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
