bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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