I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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