she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
