you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
