I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
