i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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