Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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