Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
