Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
