i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
