walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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