we made out on top of his cat.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
