I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She bit a glass in half.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
