Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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