She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
