anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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