You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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