SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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