I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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