Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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