sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
