we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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