Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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