wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
