mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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