dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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