just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
