I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
