Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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