I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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