I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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