508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
