Porn is love you can see.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
