it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
