Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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