Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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