Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
