I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
