Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize