I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So here I am, sexting at work.
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