guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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