I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
