Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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