I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
