feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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