dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
