On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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