idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize