i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
