white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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