I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
