I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can text with my tongue
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He better not be in your backpack
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
