Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
FUCK WHALES
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
