Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
